Post Ceremony Reflections: Surrender

by Carlos Guzman

by Carlos Guzman #

I witness it every weekend when I serve Kambo.

You come and sit on the mat with the intention to face whatever troubles you, your trauma, your fears, whatever holds you back from becoming your true self. You are ready to deal with it once and for all. I see your anxiety, your fear to face it, and I also see your willingness to pull it through.

But suddenly there you are, facing those fears, facing anxiety head on. I see how things didn’t turn out as you expected, see how your ego makes you second guess your intention to do this in the first place. I see your resistance, your struggle to come to grips with the darkness that is engulfing you. Your expectations got the best of you and you give into fear of losing control. Panic sets in and makes want to get out of it and now! I Your heart wants to heal but your mind is getting in the way. You get in your own way, blocking the path and into self sabotage. I feel you as I’ve been there too.

But then, in that darkness, in then midst of your storm, something magical happens. You learn somehow that letting go of what you cannot control IS the way out. This is the moment where men and women no matter their background or story they keep telling themselves, open their floodgates of emotions, allowing the tears to flow, embracing their journey and vulnerability. In this courageous act of letting go, you realize that you cannot escape what you fear or hide behind the distractions in your life. I see you turning around and face that fear that has been so present in your life yet so elusive. As the intensity of the experience rises, you learn to know and understand the root of your problems. At that moment, you’re rewarded with the act of surrendering. As you continue to release control, you are accepting who you are, who you were and who you want to become. You surrender to what it is and in that humble moment you’re embracing your journey raw, unfiltered.

The truth comes out, the shadows start to disappear and you start to see your own light. I witness a shift in you, a realization…a breakthrough. You’re basking in the essence of your true self, free at last from the chains that were holding you down. I rejoice with you when you come out the other end stronger, wiser and better. This is the miracle of surrendering. Accepting what you cannot control and letting it go. It is an honor for me to hold space for you and be a witness of your transformation pastedGraphic.png

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